Title: I should go
Summary: A B/A fic. Bobby should go..
Thank you to jenncho for making a Bobby/Alex video to the song "I should go" by Levi Kreis. It inspired me to write this fic. I hope you all like it. And no, I haven't given up on "Vengence" for those of you who are reading it. I promise there will be an update this weekend. I got a half a chapter written, but I wanted to write this drabble. I still love "Vengence". <3<3
A break in the case. That's what had brought him there. Only it hadn't turned out to be a break. After he had talked it out with her, he'd realized it wasn't what he thought it was. Her. And there was his problem. Her.
She was sitting on the couch looking up at him, the worry evident on her face. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head. She was wondering if he was upset she'd poked holes in his theory. He almost smiled, because how much simpler would life be if that was all that was wrong with him in that moment. So many things were wrong with him in general, but in that moment there was one in the forefront, rearing it's head, unchecked and unbalanced, coursing through his large frame, and he didn't know how or why, or what had broght him to this moment, to this epiphany he was having as she watched him, concern growing more evident by the minute.
"Bobby." she asked softly. "Are you okay? It's not a big deal. We'll start fresh in the morning."
Not a big deal? Here he was in Alexandra Eames living room, discussing a case, and when she'd demolished his theory, he hadn't been hurt or upset that she'd been able to see the flaws in it. He'd thought to himself just moments before /God I love this woman/. Promptly after thinking it, he'd realized what that meant. His stomach had gone into overdrive and his heart seemed to be lodged in his throat.
He'd never admitted it to himself before that moment. Oh, he'd known it for a long time. The tells were all there. He just hadn't thought it, even when he was alone. Hadn't allowed himself to think it, think the words, because then, then it would be real and then there she was, doing that thing she did. Reeling him in when he got too wild in his ideas, and he'd thought it. He'd been blown out of the water. No big deal.
/I'm in love with Alexandra Eames/ he thought clearly. Testing how it felt. He shrugged his shoulders more to his own thoughts than her question.
"That's not a 'Yes Eames, I'm okay, let's start tommorow' face you've got partner," she said to him with a lopsided smile. Her smiles, she had a million different ones for a million different situations. Bobby wasn't even sure he'd seen all of them. She had special smiles for different people too. He loved the one she reserved for him. It melted his heart everytime she gave it to him. He wondered what her smile looked like when she gave it to her nephew.
"Yes Eames, I'm okay," he said in answer. Trying not to stare at her too closely. He didn't want to give away this new secret he'd just admitted to himself. He knew her, and she knew him as well. He knew he would give himself away if he stayed any longer. It was getting harder to keep his composure.
"Are you sure Bobby? Your cheeks are a little flushed," she replied, and before he could answer her, she stepped closer, and lifted her hand up to rest it on his forehead, testing his temperature.
"I'm okay Alex really," he said. The fact that she was so close to him was both exciting and frightening at the same time. His control slipped a little and he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Thanks for worrying, but I promise I'm okay doctor." Her hair smelled like vanilla and cinnamon, the same shampoo she'd used for the last five years, probably longer than that too. It frightened him to know so well the things he shouldn't know about her. They were partners. Partners don't know each others shampoo smell.
She laughed and he stepped away. He looked at a spot just over her shoulder, giving himself a chance to get back his control. Gather his will. He didn't want her to start questioning his intentions with that kiss. He couldn't stare at her the way he wanted to. They had a job to do. They were partners. He couldn't let his eyes say the things his mouth wouldn't.
"I should go," he said, giving her a half-hearted smile. A loose attempt to cover up his over-active thoughts.
"Okay. Get some sleep Bobby. You need it whether you think you do or not. You're not Superman. You have to sleep if you want to stay sharp. No getting sloppy on me, okay?" she said in that joking tone that she used when she was serious, but didn't want to offend someone. She really was worried about him. He knew from the way she was looking at him.
"I will," he promised her. She walked him to the door, and handed him his coat from her closet. He shrugged into it, and toed his shoes on at the same time. He was both relieved to be leaving, and disapointed that he would no longer be in her presence. /Well aren't I a walking contradiction/ he thought to himself.
"Well, see ya tomorrow Eames," he said reaching for the door handle.
"Okay. Drive safe, okay Bobby? You're tired so, you know, be careful," she said as he stepped out.
"You got it Eames," he answered. "Bye." He closed the door behind him with a last smile at her. He walked to the elevator and pushed the button. Bobby Goren stood in the hallway waiting for the elevator, wondering what would happen if couldn't keep his sense of reason. The elevator dinged as it arrived and he stepped into it. He stood against the wall, and had no sooner closed his eyes, than his cellphone had gone off. He looked at the caller I.D panel. Deakins. And life went on.
Crossposted, please comment. ^_^ It makes me want to write more.